The Financial Hunger Games are Here!

Inflation and the stock market have the finest love story in American history. You have to pay more rent, eggs that cost more than your vehicle payment, and an investing portfolio that makes you question every decision you’ve ever made. It’s like a Netflix show, but instead of binge-worthy shows, you have to pay more rent.

Inflation is like that ex who keeps coming back and messing with your things. The stock market is like a love affair that is strong one day and weak the next. We had to watch these two argue while we held a sad latte that we should have made at home but didn’t because Starbucks is sad.

The Thief Who Wears a Gucci Mask: Inflation

Let’s begin with inflation, the nasty guy who doesn’t even bother to hide. It gets into your wallet without you even knowing it.

It makes Dollar Tree look like a bad joke.
And that’s why you should buy a lot of toothpaste.

In brief, inflation is when money loses value quicker than a Kardashian can lose weight. Do you think you’re saving money? No, your savings account is only a disguise right now.

Today, $100 will be worth $78 tomorrow. Even when your supermarket cart is empty, your math is flawed.

The Stock Market: A Drama Queen with a Lot of Cash

You can’t save money by investing in the stock market either. Some people think of it as the Church of S&P 500, yet it’s a legitimate casino with no free refreshments. A harsh tweet from a millionaire can very much move it.

And when you finally put money in, it goes down just to make you mad. Inflation and the stock market are like exes who text you at 2 AM. They could spoil your night, but at least one of them is fun.

Is the market outpacing inflation? There is a chance. But if you don’t have Jeff Bezos’s money, your stocks are just singing a sad tune.

Stocks Get Mad When Prices Go Up

When inflation rises, the stock market goes berserk, like it forgot to take its medicine. Why?

• The Federal Reserve boosts interest rates because investors are afraid and Wall Street traders are holding on to their Patagonia vests like it’s the end of the world.
• Picture it: The Fed raises interest rates.
• Market: falls down the stairs like in a dramatic opera.
• You: thinking about the $300 in your “fun money” account while you refresh Robinhood.

The nicest thing is that equities are supposed to do well as prices go up. They should alter and grow faster than prices, which will help you save money.

But what about the US now? Half the time, they crash when Elon Musk tweets about Mars.

Prices Are Going Up: Reddit or TikTok for the Stock Market

This is when it becomes a part of people’s lives. People that are Gen Z who work in finance on TikTok might say things like:

• “It’s crazy how high inflation is.”
• “This is how to make a budget by candlelight.”
• “Babe, don’t buy coffee anymore.” The problem is fixed.
• “I’m fine because I bought land in the metaverse.”

In the meantime, check out Reddit, where people are going nuts and screaming stuff like:

• “The end is near because of inflation.”
• “Get some bullets.”
• “No, just DCA into VTI and wait it out.”
• “To be honest, crypto will save us all.” (There is something wrong if this happens.)

If you ask about inflation and the stock market, you’ll just start a fight with doomsday prophets, index fund minimalists, and a guy named u/420stonkking who thinks AMC is the future of capitalism. No, it isn’t.

So, What’s the Worst? (They’re Both Terrible.)

If you want a short answer, bless your little heart.

What really happened was this:

• Inflation progressively eats away at your money, just like termites eat away at your bank account.
• The stock market tries to “help,” but it doesn’t always work, just like a friend who cancels plans at the last minute.
• You? Not yet any money. Still trying to “hedge” against getting older by selling crochet hats on Etsy to get some additional money.

And to be honest, we’re all fighting over scraps while politicians squabble about whether rising rent and egg prices are real problems. Thanks, that’s great.

The Cosmic Joke of Money

You made it this far, so good job. That suggests you’re either a masochist, bored at work, or genuinely need answers.

The truth? Inflation and the stock market are both crazy gremlins that decide if you feel like an adult or a broke raccoon looking through Target discount bins.

But let’s be honest: no matter how many finance TikToks you watch, Reddit threads you read, or Warren Buffett quotations you tattoo on your brain, you won’t be able to escape the cosmic joke of money losing value while your investments play hopscotch.

The stock market makes you impoverished quickly, but inflation does it slowly. Choose your poison.

The Real Plan

So certainly, budget, index, diversify, or do whatever. But you know that the real plan is to stay alive long enough to laugh about it.

If you squint hard enough, that can be kind of encouraging.

What about then? Drink your $9 Starbucks, pretend you comprehend what Jerome Powell is saying, and keep refreshing the Robinhood app like it will eventually say “you win.”

In the end, it’s not about beating inflation or making money in the stock market. It’s about learning how to make fun of your money problems with pals who are just as poor as you are.

Cheers, friends.